Potentially Deadly Coffee and Groceries In The Garage

Sunday, April 5, 2020

Total Confirmed: 1,274,923

Total Deaths: 69,478

Total Recovered: 239,900

People are feeling like we should really focus on the fact that almost a quarter of a million people have recovered. I don’t feel like that’s a celebration considering the number of confirmed cases. As someone who recently discovered she finds comfort in numbers, I find little comfort in that particular one.

I read a meme that says – I miss the days when we were terrified of Romaine Lettuce – and I think it’s so true. I take a picture of it and keep it in my phone to remind me of pre-apocalypse concerns.

It was a rainy day and the new tree got a good drink of water and it sat out there all happy and hoping we remember to water it all summer. The baby plants are still in the garage. He’ll move them to the greenhouse later this week when it warms up a bit. When it Hopefully warms up a bit. We are relieved to be home where we feel safe. And relieved we have a yard where we can plant plants. And relieved the dogs can come and go as they please. And we are relieved.

There’s a run on elastic because everybody is making masks and they used to be making them for the hospitals because they were told that’s where the masks belonged. Everybody was making them and donating them out of the goodness of their little hearts. But now they’re making them for themselves. And their friends. And no one can find elastic except maybe a tiny bit on Amazon. And they all feel like they scored a victory if they end up with some, and then no one talks about it because they don’t want anyone to know they have a leg up on the situation. Everyone texts their friends about their elastic but they definitely don’t put it on Facebook.

That would be bragging.

The uppity-ups are saying it’s not safe to leave your house at all for about two weeks. They say this will be the saddest week in American lives. That this will be our Pearl Harbor Moment. That a gagillion-million people are going to die this week.

So we put in a Costco order for delivery. And we spent way too much money but I’ll feel more secure. And their same day delivery isn’t really same day and they’ll deliver it on Thursday but I absolutely Do Not Care because we aren’t leaving the house. We will have the delivery person put everything in the garage and we’ll leave it there for a few days. Just in case the virus is hiding on anything. Maybe on the tofu. Maybe on the peppers. Maybe on the bird seed.

Potentially Deadly Coffee.

I wonder about the people who live in Food Deserts. Can’t get any food anywhere. People who are in domestic abuse situations. People who currently experiencing child abuse, or homelessness. This must all be so terrifying and difficult for them.

I finish my first prototype version of my invention because I finally figured out the math. And want to tell Home Depot to Suck It because they told me a gagillion-million times that my idea wouldn’t work and I hate them. I try to start a hashtag #quarantinecreations but I don’t think anyone likes my hashtags. I take some video as proof and feel all proud of myself and then I take a long hot shower so I can visit my Mom and be completely clean.

So I went to Mom’s and washed hands and insisted we wear masks in the house. I took a bunch of pictures of my thumb and then finally got one of the two of us. We talk and talk and catch up and get lots of twenty second hugs. She’s starved for human touch since she’s all alone. I hope my hugs can get her through the next few weeks since none of us are leaving our homes again.

She gets her grocery delivery on Friday and then she’ll have enough food for a while.

She’ll leave her groceries in the garage too. Just like everyone is doing.

Because leaving the Groceries In The Garage can save your life.

And that is so, so weird.