Outrunning The Robber

Day 45

PCT Mile Marker 1518.58 – 1540.58

Miles Hiked 22

I knew it was his tent as soon as I saw it. I held my hiking poles in one hand and put my hand over my bear bell. I snuck past his tent, the soft crunch of gravel under my feet.

The Robber Wasn’t Awake.

I barely stopped all morning. Fat chipmunks scampered out of my way, their bellies almost dragging along the trail. Grey squirrels, their tails all wavy and floaty.

After eleven and a half miles, I finally stopped and dug out my food bag. I took off my shoes and ate cookies and tuna fish while the black ants roamed around on my feet. Doctoring me up.

My mood was black as coal. I was deeply sad. I felt like giving up. I was not out here to run from bank robbers and freeze to death and have dreams that my feet have fractures in them. To wake up in the night needing ibuprofen. Vitamin I. To hurt and bleed and cry and ache and be lonely and to lose a second toenail.

I called my husband, who calmly reminded me that yes, that is exactly why I came out here. That hardship and deprivation and difficulty was exactly what I was seeking. To muscle through this and come out stronger on the other side. To keep going no matter what. That I’d always be glad I did.

I called my Mom and she said everyone was proud of me and I could come home whenever I wanted and everything would be fine.

So there it was again. The easy out. Just what I needed. Once people feel like they have choices, they are free to make a decision. I wasn’t stuck doing this! It was a choice!  

I pulled up my drawers, so to speak, and kept walking. I got this.  

I’m going to Canada.

I walked alone for hours. Then a thru-hiker appeared behind me. For no reason and with no prompting he said, “Sometimes you can get really low out here. Sometimes you’re low for a few hours, maybe for a few days. But it always gets better. Wait it out.”

He walked past me and down the trail. I was stunned into silence. The Universe had delivered exactly what I’d needed.  

He called out over his shoulder as he sped out into the evening, “Hiking the PCT was the best decision I ever made!”

I hobbled through giant landslides of light grey rock. Then more landslides of huge red boulders.

And then I looked at my maps and realized I’d broken twenty-miles-a-day.

And I’d outrun The Robber for sure.