Many Feelings to Feel

I changed a few more things, and I feel ready.  I feel positive.  I feel excited.

I feel scared.

I feel worried, overjoyed, concerned, proud, distressed, euphoric, tense, enraptured, tormented, distraught, and blissful.

I hate that I’m walking away from my amazing and supportive husband, my wonderful animals, my comfortable and beautiful house.  I hate that my Mom may need me and I won’t be there.  I hate that I won’t have good food or my uber-comfortable bed.  I hate that I won’t have warm showers and movie date night with my husband.

I hate that I’m worrying everyone.

But it’s always easier to be the one who is doing the leaving in the Fire Swamp.  It’s the staying home that is the real challenge.  Trying not to feel left behind.

So…here’s a tribute to all my support crew.  My people who send me love from afar.  My people who silently send me strength.  My husband who gently moves me in the direction he knows I need to go.  My mother who listens so well and loves me in spite of (or because of) all this.

Here’s to all of you who fall in love with people like me and are strong enough to let us go.  Let us live our truth.  Let us be honest to who we are.  Who blow us kisses as we go and encourage us to keep going when they are so sick of us being gone.  To know that we will come home with wild eyes and a soaring heart, with no answers, with less direction, but with great hope.

We love you too.  You who walk alone for a time to breathe life into us.  Who give unconditionally.  We appreciate you.

I appreciate you.

I love you.

And Thanks.