Powerful Prayer-Zaps and A New Tank Top

Friday, April 10, 2020

Total Confirmed: 1,698,626

Total Deaths: 102,773

Total Recovered: 341,589

Enough things happened today for people to write classes about. To write dissertations about. Driving Kids To Become Historians. But some kids will fail because it’s too much information, and some kids will excel because their grandparents told them all about today and it was fascinating. And so many years from now, so many years have passed that they cannot even begin to understand what it was all like. And some will fall asleep in history class and the teacher will throw a digital whiteboard eraser at them and they still fail because they just don’t care. But they should care.

This Kinda Shit Repeats Itself.

Easter is pretty much here and Bishops are cruising around in helicopters, blessing cities with Powerful Prayer-Zaps from the Sky. And pictures of parishioners are printed out and physically taped onto Empty Pews so people could still pretend they’re in church for Holy Week. New York Times Square is empty and a space ship took a crew to the International Space Station.

There’s a push for drive-in movies to reopen.

The government is considering requiring a person to carry a certificate of immunity if they’ve received a positive antibody test. And maybe that’s good or bad or creepy. And COVID is flashing its way through the prisons like lightning – so hot and fast. And the prisons are releasing people whom society is Mad At, but keeping people whom society is Scared Of and we’re all starting to wonder why all those people were locked up in the first place if they could just have an ankle monitoring bracelet.

The Democratic Primary was held in person in Wisconsin and people showed up to the polls weighing their health against their civic duty. And grandparents and children are touching hands on either side of a window. Smiling and cooing at each other and tap-tap-tapping at the glass and pretending it’s a normal game everybody has always played.

Deaths, they say, will now be around 60 thousand people in the U.S. And some saying if grocery stores can be open with limited amount of people inside, clothing stores could do the same. And that is Fucking Ridiculous. They’re so worried about the economy, they forgot about the Grim Reaper. They’re super stressed out about being able to sell all the items that people are starting to recognize they no longer need or want. A Lexus. A Fancy Watch. Shiny Shoes. A New Tank Top.

But We Must Sell The Shinies! They cry out while they pout at home. And the rest of us hope American Greed and Waste and Consumerism will be replaced with the Five Love Languages: Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch.

Professional Athletes train in their garages, and abortions in Texas have been deemed Elective and are not being performed.

Food delivery around the country is a disaster. Restaurants don’t need food, so farmers are throwing out food or letting it rot. They can’t afford to pay people to pick it. Milk is being dumped and fields are being abandoned or plowed up. And in the cities, food banks can’t get food. No one is donating it and the supermarkets are selling out, so they aren’t donating it either.

And so there’s too much food and not enough. And everybody is coming up with a workaround for something. And hollering about getting back to normal. But there is no normal. Or maybe this is normal now. What used to be normal certainly won’t be normal again.

And it’s all enough for the history of the future.

Just today.

Today Is Enough.