Monday, April 20, 2020
Global Confirmed: 2,477,426
Global Deaths: 170,324
There are teddy bears in windows so parents can drive their kids around and the kids can have a little treasure hunt, counting bears. I told Christina that I only had a shark and a jackalope and Nelson had a Giraffe-Pig, and she said all of those were respectable substitutes.
The Olympics have been squeezed into 2021 and crude oil went to negative territory for the first time in history. Negative thirty-seven dollars.
People are beating themselves up because they haven’t started writing that book. Or reading that one. Or taking up a new hobby. Time is precious and they should take full advantage of these moments to better themselves. Do yoga, teach the dog new tricks. Quilt. The Crisis-Crafts.
Others reach out to remind everyone that this is a hard time, and if they just make it through the day, that’s success. And if they take a shower, well that’s huge. That boosts Your COVID Grade right there, if anyone’s counting.
I wonder how many divorces and how many babies will come from all of this. They’re already calling that generation the Coronials who will grow to become the Quaranteens, and it’s generally amusing and veers far away from the depressive nature of how the generation came to be.
Marijuana dispensaries are essential businesses, and clothes are deemed non-essential and there are so many who are cheerful about both. And people say if we’d told them three months ago that the government would pay us to stay home and smoke pot in our underwear, they’d say we were smoking too much pot already…but here we are.
Then there’s still the protesters.
They hold up signs that say Give Me Freedom or Give Me COVID.
And I remember to be afraid. Of people.
And I wonder how long it will be until They Come Unleashed.